I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
