I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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