just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
