put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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