Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
