OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
