dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
