i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
