I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
