You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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