This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
