we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They have beer where we have blood.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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