I accidentally burped into my bong.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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