he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize