dude i'm inner monologue high
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
