Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is my gift to your gina
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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