found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
