the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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