yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm too high and old for this...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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