Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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