I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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