It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
