So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
