So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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