Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
