i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
