Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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