how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
