Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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