so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
