I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
