Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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