i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
