Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize