I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize