Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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