if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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