TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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