take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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