When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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