Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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