so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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