I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
