A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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