we were pretty classy up until the second keg
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
