when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
