next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
