hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were trust falling into bushes
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
