Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
