just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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