she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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