we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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