We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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