The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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