i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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