I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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