I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
