I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
